Ended, Finally...

Salam Alaik.

It ended, finally. My finale of engineering studies here, at least. I will be leaving soon, after submitting the hard-bounded final dissertations, of course, leaving behind the place and the people that will always be in memories (hope it is forever be there).

Five years seems to be short, but in fact, it is not... and it is quite a long period spent, in a place that had thought me, about life; about being glad and happy, and about being regret and despaired, all in a place of partial isolation. Irony.

My final year seems to be the most memorable, as most things were still fresh and alive in the mind. Though, some can be meaningful while some are better to be left to rest in peace.

I have, not as been experienced before, difficulties in creating this post. It had been a while since I posted anything, as what can be seen, my last post were done before Aidil Fitri. It's not that I have not tried to fill in the blanks, but, rather could not find any words to connect the dots, of those words. In fact, the first three paragraphs were written down and edited many times in between the last post until today. What'd holding me up?

Previously, I went to 'write' and 'store' my writings in one particular place in the mind. It was rather a 'safe storage' where I can easily defragment and retrieve later to be materialized in this blog. This time round, I could not even 'register' the entries, not until today.

Maybe there's an event that could have helped pulled the trigger and let it all run. One that I would not, and should not speak of. Failure should not be put as a burden, but rather a lesson learnt. Res ispa liquitor, but today is unlikely.

Mr. Glad and Ms. Happy seems to come and go towards the end. So as Mr. Worries and Ms. Guilt. With due respect, I let them in and out, sharing the best moment for a while, to have them teaching me one by one of what life really consisted. Guessed that anything happened was meant to happen. He (Allah) had written it down onto the Louh Mahfoudz and His obedient servants should embrace the destined like they should.

Sincrerity and Patience.

Those words are truly meaningful, after you had learnt them as you are living your life. For me, thousands meanings had been imposed to it, and left to hold a certain number of them after I had learnt them myself.

Emotion.

I was rather called emotion-less being back in school. But, it was rather caused by responsibility and training. I had learnt about it again later in the days, here. And how irony, most of them happened while in the final year. Glad and thanks to those who had been helping me rediscover this hidden being inside of me. It would be much appreciated.

So, what's next?

I hoped that I will be ready to face the world out there, for the future promised an infinite number of ends and possibilities. Good luck to me, Good luck to you too.

Eidul Fitri

Salam Alaik.

It's 27th night of Ramadhan. It is one of the night, Muslims are to anticipate the very special night of Al-qadar. Everyone had gone home, except me, from this apartment at least. I chose to go back later, as what I did every semester break. I always enjoy coming back late, with an expense that is.

Why I like it so?

Watching all my friends going back home, and to be left alone had me thinking a lot. I will be much appreciate them, especially those I called sahabat and sahabiah, when I am alone. I will appreciate, their company around much more, while realising their absence.

I am watching the buddy list of my Gtalk and Yahoo Messenger being shorten and shorten every time. It is just like they had been taken away from you one by one. I can feel the sadness, of having them leaving, and loneliness as they went through the doors. Sometimes, tears will run down the eyes. But that was pure happiness. 

I will be returning, to the family that I had always left behind, in search of my dreams. It had been 6 months, 223 days to be exact. They had been very supportive, Mom and Dad. Sometimes I felt I had done things wrong. But things would be much worst, if I had ever insisted on leaving Malaysia for Germany, the place where automotive engineering are at the best.

My brothers, although they are not close to me, since our age gap are huge, had been my one of my worries. Younger sisters, are even more. They are really harder to be taken care of, much more than taking care a herd of cows that is (Malays saying).

This semester had me thinking about them a lot. Before this, decisions were made out of my views only, with they in little effect. But, towards the end of my study, I am having such a time where I feel that it is not only about graduating, but what I will be facing after graduation... and one of it, is to serve the family.

Oldest brother's responsibility. It is huge. I had not asked for being an oldest son, but I was chosen... and that is by the hand of God, the Almighty. Some may take it unseriously, but, I am not them. 

Thanks for some people that had me discovered this precious thought, where family are to be put at the top in every decisions made, after Allah's and His messenger's. This year had been very enlightening, starting where the very important 'Sunday' I had.

Thanks to those people, very much thanks that is...

"Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin..."

p/s: Oh my God, this posting had really touches my heart. I am stopping to write as my tears are running...

Month of KAIZEN? Is it?

Ramadhan.

It had always been the month, where people found their way to do things they tought impossible. Prove that man can always do what they had told by their creator to do, and not follows what their heart felt, blindly.

Given that, this month had always been surprising, of how I believed that I am too, found my way doing things I never thought was possible. Especially doing those complimentary worships, despite the compulsory ones.

For the most important reason, this is the month, where we KAIZEN ourselves. Kaizen is a Japanese words meaning Impovement(Kai) for the Better(Zen). This is the month, where muslims were opened for their own self-accelerated improvements. It is a huge room for self purifying, self judgment. 

Those who optimized themselves to this month for do things God had asked or urged them to do, they will have their return, both worldly and in the hereafter. A lot of promises God had given to us, especially freeing ourselves from His hellfire.

Meanwhile, I can't seem to understand, how certain people, Muslimin wal Muslimat, had been ignorant about. Tonight had me surprised. I was not expecting that, I would found anyone (or two) spent the last ten days mingling around, especially those couples. It is sad to see that while others had done many things to grab those opportunities God had granted, there's some without fear, doing those things. It is utter ridiculous.

Five days to go, and I am hoping that they would realized, these kind of opportunities is rare to come and only come once. We never know if it is our last Ramadhan.

Every Ramadhan is unique. Once I thought that Ramadhan 1428 was the most memorable. I'll be missing Ramadhan 1429H, it will always be in my memories.

Wallahualam.

A deficient nation

Salam Alaik.

Tense, this week has been. As far as I had concern, I was living in a very deficient nation, or at least, in a deficient society of academician.

Why did I say so?

I had seen how other nation works, and how they had affected our people whose worked with them as well. Some even performs better and being utter respected by them. I am mentioning about the Japanese, very clean, efficient and discipline people I had ever seen in the world, the good reason why they still upfront and lead the technology-bound nation. There's also bad qualities, but this is not the time to emphasize such insignificant.

Back to our nation, I say, it is very2 well far beyond. Our 'Look to the East' vision had not affected many, unfortunately.

I had been in such difficulties, completing my Final Year Project. Bureaucracy, failure of authorities to be professional and insignificant technical problems had set my project far apart from being complete.

I was, mingling around finding the right and reliable equipments, but found none. If it is there, people seems to be treating them as it is their own. How obnoxious!

Failing equipments, improper service and handling, those are reasons why those things consumes much money, but never gave any result or benefit, to the student or the varsity. Money wasted, where things are not running. Pethathic.

My suggestions is, if there's not-so-reliable equipment are around, why don't we replace it, or send it for servicing by authorized professional, so it wont be broken again?

Else, contracts should be reviewed, and contractors/suppliers should not be given a light-heart. We pay them to get good product/service, why bother giving a smiling face while they gave you troubles? Simple, yet I am not understand why it can't happen.

And, why there's months long for equipment repair expenses approval? Is it that hard to get things signed/stamped? Go and check the machine/equipment! For the sake of academic, please...

I dunno about these people, but the way they work is far fetched from being efficient, and, as an engineer-to-be, I hate deficiencies as much as I love optimizations...

I am leaving, and hoping I will get to somewhere I think efficiencies are treated as it should... Thanks a lot!

IntelCurry's Concept: Beta Version

Having had 'Swimmer's Ears' (find out what is this thru the net) for a week, I filled up my time to do some Sports car design.

It was done using Rhinoceros 3.0, Corporate Edition. Quite easy to use, if you had AutoCAD experiences.

Having some Alfa's 8C and Lambo Miura cues and also some essences of retro Toyota Celica shapes.

The basic shape

The advance shaping

The wheel arches added

side view, with tires, front end design and wheels

The early rendering

The rim design, wireframe model and final rendering

Still working on it, bettering the design and lightings. Hope that it'll come up great soon.

The future of automotive industry

Electric

It is the future of automotive industry, I suppose. Many makers had gone far to reach their goals in having the most advanced and efficient vehicle their firm could produce.

The design

For years, people had doubted the existence of electric cars. They had forgotten that once, in 1930’s the electric powered vehicle are set to lead the pace of commuting people technologies rather than gasoline power, alongside ethanol-fuelled vehicle of internal combustion engine. Their numbers are far greater than that of gasoline powered vehicles, and Henry Ford himself, preferred to have ethanol as fuels for his vehicles. The automotive industry was not meant for gasoline.

Why electric? Because of efficiency and ease of design. All you need to do is to design a sub-frame and a careful placement of everything; from the batteries to the powerful motors to spin the tires. Then, you can proceed to developing the shapes and materials to be used. An electric car would not weight more than its petrol equivalence, and would not be much more complicated either.

Today’s car safety features, coupled with lower weight, and less variables, can manage to integrate all those electric thingy. Plus, some space efficient cars of today mass-marketed ones are easily converted to electric with minor modifications.

Simplification of things

The driving aids, like distributive braking, anti-lock brakes, limited slip characteristics, power bias and many more can be electronically adjusted (all those EBD, ASR, ABS thingy). All you have to do is a trial-run, a computer and an engineer/a programmer to take it all in.

All that, coupled with some motors to get what you need, instantly, and efficiently

Maintenance

How much it cost to maintain an electric car? It might not be as much as your petrol/diesel equivalence as well. Take it as an automatic washing machine, with four motors and four wheels, and equipped with all fuzzy-logic-you-know-what, and there you goes. It does not that expensive to manage. The manufacturer might as well equip your car with limited reliability motors that needs to be changed when it’s worn, but cheaper priced. But, that’s a different matter.

The performance

Without gearing, outright performance is deliverable. Electric motors perform differently as opposes to their Internal Combustion (IC) counterparts. Maximum torque are instant, and most of them, are produced with supercar-like performance ability, like Lightning GT and Venturi Fetish, to name a few.

The thrills

A programmer again is needed to program your electric vehicle so that it imitates your IC equivalence. All they have to do is to make some ‘gearing’ and octane ‘surge’ with their programming ability. Some sounds generation from the best car-maker of the world can also be integrated within the car so that it won’t be too quiet (since when this is important? Irony, Lexus is still developing sound eliminating technologies for years. Ha-ha). It is just an expense little of performance and efficiency to have some good thrills.

The job

Apart from mechanical engineering and automotive engineering disciplines, future automotive engineers might come from electrical engineering and programming background. And it has taken place right now as well.

Many other job related would exist, while it will eliminates some as well. For example, many engineers/technician are needed in multi-phase-motor field, while many will lose job on lubricant development field.

Many also find places in power supplies to home and workplace, where people need their cars to be recharged. Many also will find places in development of materials and composites, to compliment the car manufacturing demand and lightweight design.

But, people still need to commute. Thus, cars are changing where it should, base on people demands of energy and efficiency. Changes are necessary, furthermore in the most significant industry like this, where all the standards in industry were made.

The future

Many makers are getting there, General Motors (US) are developing their Volts, Mitsubishi with their IMEV EvoX that scheduled to be mass-marketed in 2010, Nissan with their Cube-based model in 2011 and many more. Those major car-makers are looking at things alike and see that they can’t be ignorant towards the future of high-efficiency, zero-emission vehicles.

So, why are we still years behind?

The Sunday

The last Sunday. It was not like any other sunday, which expected to be relaxing and peaceful.

There's many things had happened, that might spell the major turning point of my life, in very much every aspect. There's a sequences of events, which I had expected and unexpected.

One.

First of all, I had been in feverish state for 3 days straight. I hardly catches fever, and to have it 3 days straight is very unlikely. It was due to the rain, maybe, when I was paying some errands for the Mom's Kangoo.

The feeling of getting better that morning, after fluctuation of high and low feverish states (it always getting worse at night, despite half-dozen of aspirin tablet taken), had me thinking and prepared for the next event, the number 'two'. It's ironic. Ironic but destined.

Two.

The second event, might be the breaking point, to where maturity in making decisions were taken to a next level. It was an important one, not the least but not the most either.

But, it took me to a point where, sincerity and patience were a huge matter. Maybe there's no need to rush and never being to relaxed as well. Maybe there's a world that I seems to find. Also, the decision made might not be at the right time, retrospecting the position where the people involved and mine are standing at the moment. It should be in the future, that it is relevant. Let's hope and pray.

However, I failed to be thoroughly frank and detailed about the matter of speak, due to the said illness had affected my hearing, and that hinders me speaking as I should as well. Unlike the other party that involved, I believed. (Though, all of the things that had been franked about is already known. I studied and figured it out already. =p)

Or, it might be that I am not ready to be fully transparent of reasons why the decision was made. There's criteria involves, and I am not the one who do the list, and decisions was made because all the boxes were ticked. My apology to the people affected, I'll promise to make it up later. I had tried not to give any uncertainties what-so-ever, but a tired mind won't think as efficient as it should.

Thousands apologies, I pledged.

Third.

I got the chances to widen where my obligations to society and religion. Being with some close friends, whose close enough to be called brothers, out for some brief of the big tasks coming ahead.

Plus, it is a chance of a lifetime, to see where I could be going and to be among those people our kind had admired and longing to become with one day. I am looking forward to the day of the event.

Though, the drive was reviving to the tired mind, and buys me an ample time to think of the event number 'two' said earlier, in a good cruise.

Fourth.

Went back home later at night, after dinner, I got the chance to call mom for no reason at all. I always need a reason to call her. But, it might be because I have so much things to say, particularly about Dad and event number 'two' as well (Oh my, it is getting apparent of how 'two' had affected me).

But, it seems that, sometimes words are filtered in many ways. It was only about Dad and no hint of event number 'two' had been expressed what-so-ever. Maybe it is not the right time, and proven later, it is not. (By the time it taken places, Gebu had find her way down to the lower floors of the building, Luckily, somebody found her!)

By the time of calling, Dad was at the mosque, and wont be back until Isya' was done. It was shocking to hear that, my father was not in good shape, and for obvious reason that is. Which will be told next, event number 'five'.

Fifth.

This particular event had my heart dropped. As it is not ever happened before, my father, while having gastreous stomach, felt that like he had been keeping all his problems by himself, and letting it out only when the right time comes.

The right time, which is the time I had asked to speak to him. It was in a way that, I was listening to 'Father and Son' and 'Cats in the Cradle' songs by Cat Steven/Yusuf Islam when I am speaking to him (both are songs about a father and his son).

He told me that he was sick, to a point where he fell while going out to the market to do some errands for mom. He does not told mom or my siblings anything at all, except to me! I knew this could happened, but not this soon, and I am worried. There's might be reasons, why he had not told mom as detailed, and he didn't want mom to worry.

I knew he was dissappointed with what Sis did/say to him (only for a small matter), but, I had never expected it comes to a point he could hurt himself like that. Luckily, I called him that night. I think I may had lighten up his burden a bit, cured his disturbed mind a little. I think I'd made him realized, he always had a son who he could rely on.

I cried by the hung-up phone, of regret and dissappointment (of my Sis). I cried again later, today, when I told Mom about it.

Sixth.

I was about to sleep, and i heard a familiar Aston Martin Vanquish's V12 beautiful growls coming towards the left ear (my SMS tone, of course). I checked out what's coming, and, not as shocked, a message from 'Lil Sis from Johor. It was not meant for me, it was for another 'Abang'.

Not once, she had this kind of messages mistakenly sent to her real Abang, and as it is had happened before, I directly forward it to Mom. and to a great surprise to her, given a warning message by Mom. Amusing, of her carelessness, and terribly worrying at the same time. If it is to happen again, I'll make sure it will be the LAST.

Conclusion.

I had always found that, everything was destined to happen for a reason. Decisions, events, were there for every single reason. God had His way telling me to stop, adjust and look back through the side mirrors. Maybe, it's not time to make a change. Maybe, I should relax and take it easy. Time should tell, what future might brings.

And, time should, if I respect it much.

There's always way to find a way to let things out a bit. I can't keep it in, I can't keep it in, I gotta let it out. Mine is through my writings. As for a suggestion, if you want to sing out, sing out.

But, there's million things to be. I found a cup of 'Sundae' can also help ease 'The Sunday' thing!

p/s: There's always hint of Cat Steven's verses in the paragraphs. Find it out!