After 10 months and 20 days...

Salaam,

It had been that long? I asked myself.

Tired. After being in a 2 tonne lorry for 2 hours, my vertebrate seems to inherit the shape of bonsai tree. The trip to Kg Keliang had given me a good experience, indeed. Kudos to the driver, Bang Din Cendol.

After transit to Btg Kali and Serendah, we are back to Bt Sentosa, the goods were brought down to be distributed when morning comes.

By-Election. It is quite a scene. This time round, the White Balance on a Dark Blue background people are on attacking position. They'll do anything to get the seat. Anything.

Well, winning or losing, it is His decision. We are just executing His command. May the revolutionist win. Let the corrupted down the drain.

Back to this blog. It had been that long since I wrote anything here. Don't have time, or maybe, my creativity had been stagnant after doing many redundancies. Quite a hassle, having to work with redundancies and doing work by book. It hinders creativity.

With KCB2 as background, I am trying to let the ideas rushing in. Couldn't sleep, so there's nothing to do, no one to talk craps to.

Ah, KCB2. When it comes to the 'Sujud Syukur' scene, it always touches the heart. Hurm, 4 grown-up, think-that-they-are-macho men had been shown the movies to and all of them cannot hold them tears during that scene. Haha. Serve them right. I wish I have a camera.

made out of a bent rib...

Salam Alaik.

for men had been sent to his side, a companion, a complement. made out of one of his rib; not from his skull to be praise, not from his feet for him to press, but from his rib, so close to the heart to be cared and loved.

I don't have much to say about my relationship. i don't have any to be called dead serious yet, at least for the time being. but, i am mcuh obliged to announce that, they were always looked after.

being a son of June, typically, we are at deep confusion, probably in the young age, to be understand about our affection towards the fairer sex. being a man, it is even more, because of our tendency to achieve what we dream for. it is simply, we are not that easy to understand when it comes to love. our June nature is all about complexity and mere perfection.

for me, it is even more complex. at a level, i am not very good in having conversation with the opposite sex. it is much difficult for me to get to think of what the heck i am going to start it with, not if there's nothing important. however, it is not the same thing, if they are to start. i could, just pause for a moment and listen to what they are going to say and just go with the flow. only then, it is not hard.

to keep it simple, its just like starting an old, classic car. it just need to be crank quite a while just to have it sparked. then, when it do, just let the growl and rumble gets your adrenaline rushing, then, that's where it gets you excited.but later, you had to let it go.

in recent years, there's only certain number of them, hurm... two, to be exact, that had me starting. those two might have given by God, the power to start me talking (or else, chatting) of what i do not really sought after before. it was just quite easy. maybe they had been given the 'key'? I don't know. tell me. it's magical.

one of them become quite close. shared bits of advices, here and there, while the other, coming quite late into the scene, had tremendous number of similarities to me, to my surprise, and also quite keen to become my window to what i had been missing in life, a lot.

however, there's only one left, while the other, with whom i had much similarities shared, up to my expectation, were lost in touch, due to very apparent reasons that only both of us could understand, or not.

but, i am glad both of them made me enlightened, that they are having the nature of the rib they said to be made of, a compliment and companion. they both told me about understanding how those two kind of human, one with nature of mars, and the other of venus, could live together and bonded by hearts, so that the world are not going to be as boring as figuring out why the moon haven't turned blue and square yet.

for this, i appreciates it much, as it is very much valuable to my future undertakings or relationship.

to those two, if you are somehow read this post, i hope that you understand that both of you are much appreciated. you know i am talking about you, don't you? i bet you do...

Thanks to both, and to the other one, hope that we'll meet again somewhere, somehow...

The Slumdog Millionaire

Salam Alaik...

Watched the movie, twice. Having torrent-downloaded it for only 2 days, I was very eager to know why this movie had it so much among movie-fans around the world. Low-budget, simple plotted movie, that could move your heart, I suppose.

The story told about two brothers and a female counterpart, being together in the cause of massacre of Muslim village in an unknown part of Mumbai, India. Can't help noticing that the said charachters are all muslims, by name, although the female one might be confused between being a Muslimat or else.

It shows, how confused some Muslims might be. For example, Salim, the elder brother, was shown performing prayer (although I am a bit confused about the Sujud he performed) and ask for repentance. This happen while he is working with long-time gangsters, involves killing people and prostitution. He was also found to say 'God is Great' at the end of his life on the tip of his betrayed colleagues.

Jamal, his younger brother whose also the hero of this movie, also being found in a very, very deep confusion in his own. He was searching for this Latika, the love of his life, and do everything in order to get her.

Latika, on the other hand, being missing many times in the plot, caught herself being manipulated by corrupted man and disturbed society. She was also not living a decent life a woman should.

All in all, the movie shown that, there's a world of confusion among Muslims on the earth. While they are suppose to be the caliph on this earth, they were attacked and end up being manipulated by corrupted world, brought far from the truth religion that seems to be called 'so-yesterday' by people with narrow-mind.

I was also made thinking, what differences the people depicted in the story had between Muslims in Malaysia? The question is answerable if you had sometime using your eyes, ears and those bloody oxygenated brain you had...

Ended, Finally...

Salam Alaik.

It ended, finally. My finale of engineering studies here, at least. I will be leaving soon, after submitting the hard-bounded final dissertations, of course, leaving behind the place and the people that will always be in memories (hope it is forever be there).

Five years seems to be short, but in fact, it is not... and it is quite a long period spent, in a place that had thought me, about life; about being glad and happy, and about being regret and despaired, all in a place of partial isolation. Irony.

My final year seems to be the most memorable, as most things were still fresh and alive in the mind. Though, some can be meaningful while some are better to be left to rest in peace.

I have, not as been experienced before, difficulties in creating this post. It had been a while since I posted anything, as what can be seen, my last post were done before Aidil Fitri. It's not that I have not tried to fill in the blanks, but, rather could not find any words to connect the dots, of those words. In fact, the first three paragraphs were written down and edited many times in between the last post until today. What'd holding me up?

Previously, I went to 'write' and 'store' my writings in one particular place in the mind. It was rather a 'safe storage' where I can easily defragment and retrieve later to be materialized in this blog. This time round, I could not even 'register' the entries, not until today.

Maybe there's an event that could have helped pulled the trigger and let it all run. One that I would not, and should not speak of. Failure should not be put as a burden, but rather a lesson learnt. Res ispa liquitor, but today is unlikely.

Mr. Glad and Ms. Happy seems to come and go towards the end. So as Mr. Worries and Ms. Guilt. With due respect, I let them in and out, sharing the best moment for a while, to have them teaching me one by one of what life really consisted. Guessed that anything happened was meant to happen. He (Allah) had written it down onto the Louh Mahfoudz and His obedient servants should embrace the destined like they should.

Sincrerity and Patience.

Those words are truly meaningful, after you had learnt them as you are living your life. For me, thousands meanings had been imposed to it, and left to hold a certain number of them after I had learnt them myself.

Emotion.

I was rather called emotion-less being back in school. But, it was rather caused by responsibility and training. I had learnt about it again later in the days, here. And how irony, most of them happened while in the final year. Glad and thanks to those who had been helping me rediscover this hidden being inside of me. It would be much appreciated.

So, what's next?

I hoped that I will be ready to face the world out there, for the future promised an infinite number of ends and possibilities. Good luck to me, Good luck to you too.

Eidul Fitri

Salam Alaik.

It's 27th night of Ramadhan. It is one of the night, Muslims are to anticipate the very special night of Al-qadar. Everyone had gone home, except me, from this apartment at least. I chose to go back later, as what I did every semester break. I always enjoy coming back late, with an expense that is.

Why I like it so?

Watching all my friends going back home, and to be left alone had me thinking a lot. I will be much appreciate them, especially those I called sahabat and sahabiah, when I am alone. I will appreciate, their company around much more, while realising their absence.

I am watching the buddy list of my Gtalk and Yahoo Messenger being shorten and shorten every time. It is just like they had been taken away from you one by one. I can feel the sadness, of having them leaving, and loneliness as they went through the doors. Sometimes, tears will run down the eyes. But that was pure happiness. 

I will be returning, to the family that I had always left behind, in search of my dreams. It had been 6 months, 223 days to be exact. They had been very supportive, Mom and Dad. Sometimes I felt I had done things wrong. But things would be much worst, if I had ever insisted on leaving Malaysia for Germany, the place where automotive engineering are at the best.

My brothers, although they are not close to me, since our age gap are huge, had been my one of my worries. Younger sisters, are even more. They are really harder to be taken care of, much more than taking care a herd of cows that is (Malays saying).

This semester had me thinking about them a lot. Before this, decisions were made out of my views only, with they in little effect. But, towards the end of my study, I am having such a time where I feel that it is not only about graduating, but what I will be facing after graduation... and one of it, is to serve the family.

Oldest brother's responsibility. It is huge. I had not asked for being an oldest son, but I was chosen... and that is by the hand of God, the Almighty. Some may take it unseriously, but, I am not them. 

Thanks for some people that had me discovered this precious thought, where family are to be put at the top in every decisions made, after Allah's and His messenger's. This year had been very enlightening, starting where the very important 'Sunday' I had.

Thanks to those people, very much thanks that is...

"Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin..."

p/s: Oh my God, this posting had really touches my heart. I am stopping to write as my tears are running...

Month of KAIZEN? Is it?

Ramadhan.

It had always been the month, where people found their way to do things they tought impossible. Prove that man can always do what they had told by their creator to do, and not follows what their heart felt, blindly.

Given that, this month had always been surprising, of how I believed that I am too, found my way doing things I never thought was possible. Especially doing those complimentary worships, despite the compulsory ones.

For the most important reason, this is the month, where we KAIZEN ourselves. Kaizen is a Japanese words meaning Impovement(Kai) for the Better(Zen). This is the month, where muslims were opened for their own self-accelerated improvements. It is a huge room for self purifying, self judgment. 

Those who optimized themselves to this month for do things God had asked or urged them to do, they will have their return, both worldly and in the hereafter. A lot of promises God had given to us, especially freeing ourselves from His hellfire.

Meanwhile, I can't seem to understand, how certain people, Muslimin wal Muslimat, had been ignorant about. Tonight had me surprised. I was not expecting that, I would found anyone (or two) spent the last ten days mingling around, especially those couples. It is sad to see that while others had done many things to grab those opportunities God had granted, there's some without fear, doing those things. It is utter ridiculous.

Five days to go, and I am hoping that they would realized, these kind of opportunities is rare to come and only come once. We never know if it is our last Ramadhan.

Every Ramadhan is unique. Once I thought that Ramadhan 1428 was the most memorable. I'll be missing Ramadhan 1429H, it will always be in my memories.

Wallahualam.

A deficient nation

Salam Alaik.

Tense, this week has been. As far as I had concern, I was living in a very deficient nation, or at least, in a deficient society of academician.

Why did I say so?

I had seen how other nation works, and how they had affected our people whose worked with them as well. Some even performs better and being utter respected by them. I am mentioning about the Japanese, very clean, efficient and discipline people I had ever seen in the world, the good reason why they still upfront and lead the technology-bound nation. There's also bad qualities, but this is not the time to emphasize such insignificant.

Back to our nation, I say, it is very2 well far beyond. Our 'Look to the East' vision had not affected many, unfortunately.

I had been in such difficulties, completing my Final Year Project. Bureaucracy, failure of authorities to be professional and insignificant technical problems had set my project far apart from being complete.

I was, mingling around finding the right and reliable equipments, but found none. If it is there, people seems to be treating them as it is their own. How obnoxious!

Failing equipments, improper service and handling, those are reasons why those things consumes much money, but never gave any result or benefit, to the student or the varsity. Money wasted, where things are not running. Pethathic.

My suggestions is, if there's not-so-reliable equipment are around, why don't we replace it, or send it for servicing by authorized professional, so it wont be broken again?

Else, contracts should be reviewed, and contractors/suppliers should not be given a light-heart. We pay them to get good product/service, why bother giving a smiling face while they gave you troubles? Simple, yet I am not understand why it can't happen.

And, why there's months long for equipment repair expenses approval? Is it that hard to get things signed/stamped? Go and check the machine/equipment! For the sake of academic, please...

I dunno about these people, but the way they work is far fetched from being efficient, and, as an engineer-to-be, I hate deficiencies as much as I love optimizations...

I am leaving, and hoping I will get to somewhere I think efficiencies are treated as it should... Thanks a lot!