Eidul Fitri

Salam Alaik.

It's 27th night of Ramadhan. It is one of the night, Muslims are to anticipate the very special night of Al-qadar. Everyone had gone home, except me, from this apartment at least. I chose to go back later, as what I did every semester break. I always enjoy coming back late, with an expense that is.

Why I like it so?

Watching all my friends going back home, and to be left alone had me thinking a lot. I will be much appreciate them, especially those I called sahabat and sahabiah, when I am alone. I will appreciate, their company around much more, while realising their absence.

I am watching the buddy list of my Gtalk and Yahoo Messenger being shorten and shorten every time. It is just like they had been taken away from you one by one. I can feel the sadness, of having them leaving, and loneliness as they went through the doors. Sometimes, tears will run down the eyes. But that was pure happiness. 

I will be returning, to the family that I had always left behind, in search of my dreams. It had been 6 months, 223 days to be exact. They had been very supportive, Mom and Dad. Sometimes I felt I had done things wrong. But things would be much worst, if I had ever insisted on leaving Malaysia for Germany, the place where automotive engineering are at the best.

My brothers, although they are not close to me, since our age gap are huge, had been my one of my worries. Younger sisters, are even more. They are really harder to be taken care of, much more than taking care a herd of cows that is (Malays saying).

This semester had me thinking about them a lot. Before this, decisions were made out of my views only, with they in little effect. But, towards the end of my study, I am having such a time where I feel that it is not only about graduating, but what I will be facing after graduation... and one of it, is to serve the family.

Oldest brother's responsibility. It is huge. I had not asked for being an oldest son, but I was chosen... and that is by the hand of God, the Almighty. Some may take it unseriously, but, I am not them. 

Thanks for some people that had me discovered this precious thought, where family are to be put at the top in every decisions made, after Allah's and His messenger's. This year had been very enlightening, starting where the very important 'Sunday' I had.

Thanks to those people, very much thanks that is...

"Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin..."

p/s: Oh my God, this posting had really touches my heart. I am stopping to write as my tears are running...

Month of KAIZEN? Is it?

Ramadhan.

It had always been the month, where people found their way to do things they tought impossible. Prove that man can always do what they had told by their creator to do, and not follows what their heart felt, blindly.

Given that, this month had always been surprising, of how I believed that I am too, found my way doing things I never thought was possible. Especially doing those complimentary worships, despite the compulsory ones.

For the most important reason, this is the month, where we KAIZEN ourselves. Kaizen is a Japanese words meaning Impovement(Kai) for the Better(Zen). This is the month, where muslims were opened for their own self-accelerated improvements. It is a huge room for self purifying, self judgment. 

Those who optimized themselves to this month for do things God had asked or urged them to do, they will have their return, both worldly and in the hereafter. A lot of promises God had given to us, especially freeing ourselves from His hellfire.

Meanwhile, I can't seem to understand, how certain people, Muslimin wal Muslimat, had been ignorant about. Tonight had me surprised. I was not expecting that, I would found anyone (or two) spent the last ten days mingling around, especially those couples. It is sad to see that while others had done many things to grab those opportunities God had granted, there's some without fear, doing those things. It is utter ridiculous.

Five days to go, and I am hoping that they would realized, these kind of opportunities is rare to come and only come once. We never know if it is our last Ramadhan.

Every Ramadhan is unique. Once I thought that Ramadhan 1428 was the most memorable. I'll be missing Ramadhan 1429H, it will always be in my memories.

Wallahualam.